The Geese Have Landed

It has been an odd first summer back for me back in the great Puget Sound. The weather-folks keep trying to convince me that the temps have been totally, completely average. But the summers of the past that I remember don't include rain or grey skies, both of which seem plentiful this summer. Indeed, perhaps the temps have been average but the skies have not been blue.

I teeter back and forth between being completely elated at being back home and being utterly depressed (and cold!). I am a laughingstock of friends and family, the Goldilocks as it were for Tucson was tooooo hot and Tacoma is, well, tooooo cold (and grey and wet). I realize I can't have it all but the switch has been a shock to my system.

Deep down, I know that I am happy to be here. Since we've been here for the last month+, we've gone hiking twice, camping once and I've gone running down on the waterfront countless times. I've been enough times where I am actually starting to recognize people and give them nicknames in my head! I am fascinated by the thought of running at any time of day I please in the middle of summer! Without having my head explode from heat! Without having to carry a gallon of water, a gallon of Gatorade and three other gallons of fluids and ice back at the car! It is a giddy, giddy feeling for sure.

A few nights ago though, I was about to fall asleep when I heard geese flying overhead with their recognizable honk, honk, honk. And today, as I sat down at the beach with my daughter on our last true day alone with each other before I return to work, there were a few geese paddling/resting in the water.

Geese mean the return of fall. And that made me sad. And maybe even homesick.

Except. I am home.

So what the heck am I talking about?

Tucson and I were never the best of friends. I never hugged it tightly, promising to never let it go. I never settled down roots there. I wanted to but it always felt like some sort of awkward first date and I was constantly seeing all of these flaws. I was hoping this bad first date would just hurry up and end.

Well, the date did end. Finally!

But I still miss it a little. Fall in Tucson is a glorious time. Lots of place have their fall leaf shows and I do love those but a lot of my favorite memories of Tucson occur in the fall. The air finally cools down enough and is even crisp in the morning. But the sun still shines nice and warm in the afternoon. The javelinas make their way down back into town, munching on and destroying many pumpkins and potted gardens. I adored fall in Tucson.

So seeing those geese made me a little sad about no longer being there. I hurried out of town without even so much as a goodbye. And yet. I am still tied to the town with a house that won't sell but...will I ever even see this house I am making mortage payments on again? Probably not. I feel a little awkwardly tied to Tucson. I am ready to move on. And yet, I can't let go either.