Curveballs

I don't even know where to start. I feel like I have so much to say and so little to say all at the same time. Life has handed my family some curveballs right now and so, the blogging has fallen to the side as I deal with this.

My husband and I have been together nearly 12 years. We met as backpacking guides and spent many of our days together hiking. Our vacations pre-Natalie always revolved around backpacking in great destination spots: Glacier, Yosemite.

Backpacking brings out the best and worst in us. Many times,we found ourselves in sync, hiking in silence and enjoying it, or filling the air with conversation. And sometimes, one of us struggled. On one particular trip, I remember feeling woefully out of shape as I struggled up the mountain. I was grouchy and growly and yet he never fought back, always encouraging me until we finally reached camp. The rest of the trip was wonderful.

On the last day though, we had a long hike back to the car and both of us couldn't get the thought of cheeseburgers, ice cream and cold beer out of our heads. On this day instead of it being me, my husband was the growly one and I waited it out patiently. A few hours later, after showers and food, we were both all smiles again.

Our life is like this right now. We have many dreams for our life, dreams of who we want to be or where we want to live and how we want to live. Some things have happened recently that have changed the direction of our life right now. My husband has left his job and we have put our beloved house on the market. We are hoping that in the next few months, we will find ourselves happily and safely somewhere in either Oregon or Washington. But we're both struggling right now as we figure out those next steps. On some days, I have to be the silent partner, waiting out the storm. And on other days, I need my husband to tell me that everything will be okay. That there is beer and ice cream waiting for us on the other side of the trail. Just keep hiking.

This timing and the way this is happening isn't how we ever planned it. I don't feel ready to pull Natalie from her montessori school. I don't feel ready to leave my job or to sell the house that I spent so much time fixing the way I wanted. But, we are ready to go home and although this doesn't feel so great at the moment, I can't help but think that this is what is meant to happen right now.

And so, we have lots of unanswered questions. Dreams are falling apart and we are trying to create some new ones. We've got a big ol' mountain to climb and although I feel a bit out of shape, I know I'll eventually get to the top and there will be incredible views waiting for me. Besides, I've been running and working out. I'm ready to climb a mountain now even if I don't thnk I am.

In the meantime, blogging is something that I'm not sure I'll be doing for awhile. I've got to concentrate on other tasks. So, this isn't really good bye. I just need to take a break until I figure everything else out. Who knows, next time you hear from me, I might just be reporting back on a run in the cool, deep green forests of the northwest.

Wishing I lived in a one story house

I had the best intentions to run yesterday after work. That didn't quite happen. The weather could not be better. Temps are topping out in the 80's and there is the perfect hint of spring here with the raging winds of the weekend calming down to gentle breezes. Mid-80's probably sounds hot to run in for many not living here. Or maybe you're all so sick of snow it sounds good? I assure you that with the dry air, running in 80 degrees here is like a perfect 60 degree day. Add the humidity and I'm shot!

Oh...wait. I seem to be stalling here with my excuse for not running!

You see, I had my PT session. 1 hour. My trainer is thrilled with my progress and after last Friday's "easy" day was ready to ramp back up and hit me hard for the first 30 minutes with squats, lunges, leg presses, hamstring crap (oh, how I hate the hamstring exercises!). Then he topped it all off with a bunch of lower back stuff, obliques, shoulders and arms and the grand finale of straight up pure ABS. I'm not flexible enough so the cherry on top was lots and lots of stretching.

My trainer also told me that I was "stoic." This is because no matter what he tells me to do, I do it. And I do it with very little noise, facial expression or smiling. Which results in him adding more weight. In my brain, I am screaming obscenities. But I always oblige. He is not making me do anything I can't physically handle. But damn. It sure as heck hurts sometimes!

But by the end of yesterday's session, I feebly put my work clothes back on and wobbled to my car. 3 hours later when I got home, I was still totally and utterly weak. I literally did not think I would be able to move my legs in a running pattern.

My daughter asked me to pick her up and carry her upstairs last night. My response? "Oh honey. Mommy's legs are Jello. I can't pick you up!" That caused her to break into hysterics and explaining that I did not have Jello in my legs, how silly of me!

And so I picked her up and up the stairs we went.

Week in review: March whatever to whatever

Yeah, whatever. So, I had a lame-o week and all I really have are a bunch of excuses. Too tired, too stressed, too windy (okay, it really was darn windy!). Anyway. It all just comes down to an off week. I was even a little off with the personal training and last Friday we did a recovery workout to just get all the bugs out. Lots of repetitions with low weights.

My trainer has been working my....hamstrings off. Yes, I wish it were my ass, by alas, it is only my hams. They have been so incredibly tight and sore. The poor things didn't get a break on Friday. Something about how runners needs strong legs or some other crap. (Just kidding!)

But you know what? I totally trust my trainer. After Friday it was like all my aches and pains just disappeared. I didn't feel fatigued. My hamstrings stopped screaming at me.

Anyway, excuses are just that. Ways for me to try to shift the blame instead of just face up to the fact that I was lazy and tired last week. I still have so much to learn and it is only when I put the excuses aside that I will become a better runner.

So, here it all is, no excuses:

M-3
Tues-1 hr PT, 3 miles
Wed-0
Thur-0
Fri-1 hr PT
Sat-0
Sun-0